The few of you not exhausted by Christmas preparations or excessive consumption of eggnog will remember that I recently acquired a plush Maltese doll as a product sample for my nonprofit project. My very good friend Carolyn named the doll “NewPup.”
I’ve been using NewPup as a stand-in for a Senpai Dog – basically an attempt at canine doll therapy where NewPup demonstrates dog behavior that Reiko would normally have learned while socializing had she not had such a dismal backstory.
To illustrate the desired behavior, I essentially play with a doll. I coo at it, talk to it, pet it and, of course, all my gestures and movements have to be magnified because Reiko is deaf and relies on sight for learning. I picture the neighbors looking in the window and seeing me acting like a 6 year old girl.
This does not bolster my man card rating at all. Thank Dog for plantation shutters on all windows.
Anyway, NewPup has generated a lot of jealousy in the household, Full-on green-eyed monster level. Covetousness, malice, enviousness, animosity, enmity – pick your favorite synonym.
The animosity peaked when I brought NewPup to the sofa, petted her and signed “good girl” to the plush. Then I pantomimed feeding her a slice of lunch meat, Reiko’s highest value treat.
We’re talking 12 pounds of poorly disguised Mauzer fury.
Fool that I am, I persisted in demonstrating that treats and affection go hand in hand and girls get more lunch meat with cuddles than standoffishness.
(I learned that from Only Fans models. I kid, I kid.)
I left to get a little more deli-shaved oven roasted turkey slices. I forgot that NewPup was unprotected on the sofa. In the two minutes it took me to get more snacks, Reiko had savagely attacked NewPup and it looks like I’ll be needing a new product sample.
Doll therapy is temporarily suspended.
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